Zembla Archives
It's time to bring this ship into the shore and throw away the oars forever.
there will be little lady
the facial hair of personal rejuvenation
what i learned in arizona
the onion comedy series presents kasper hauser, 4/21/08
the olympic torch
a brief photo essay about whole foods market
subterranean comedy - where the buffalo roams
the ed forman show, live, march 19th
aunt agnes: local celebrity
my sister is not dead
baseball takes the bus
if the oscar nominees were san francisco giants
new friends on the internet
ebony & irony @ julie's supper club, tonight!
oscar baked potato party 2008: there will be chives
if it wasn't for self-promotion, you know i wouldn't have no promotion at all
uncomfortable conversation hearts 2: the revenge
this little piggy went to market
on being sick and being fat
tonight! the heuristic squelch comedy experience, with w. kamau bell
ciudad de los kiddies
shows to check out this weekend, part 2: saturday - blah! blah! blah!
new links to explore
shows to check out this weekend, part 1: friday night
the sf chronicle discovers the treehouse
live-action video games for my apartment, part one
sean keane @ iron comic, 2-nite!
even unsexier descriptions of sex
stay-free sunday with sean keane
going hungry
why six feet or taller?
cleaning out the fridge
sean keane presents: the six feet or taller show
gary busey? or nick nolte?
sean-the-keane and the blustery day
tedford, throughout history
il n'est pas chris garcia
that's what tiggers do best
exciting tolkien news
my favorite carols, part four: have yourself a merry little christmas
my favorite carols, part 3: sweet little jesus boy
fun facts about "uhf"
my favorite carols, part two: jingle bells
my favorite carols, part 1: i'll be home for christmas
why am i such a misfit? i am not just a nitwit.
the mitchell report
the nfl and the rebus
the table of bad jerseys
big game week: mascots
print famousness: east bay express
some thoughts on veterans day
despair is the aftertaste of workplace pride
interview with matt kirshen on sfstandup
columbus chat
pakistan and bootleg dvds
baby faces post-mortem: an interview with host amir malekpour
thomas crapper's name is merely coincidence
boston red sox: like rooting for cancer?
interview with joe gorman, founder of the baby faces of comedy tour
movie tips: the important necklace
jesus gives up on the rockies
baby faces of comedy tour, october 30th
the person who speaks spanish is not here
proof of youth
in rainbows - you used to be alright. what happened?
blackwater
your source for all things jigar
happy columbus day!
preparing for game three, part four: indians-yankees
preparing for game three, part three: phillies-rockies
preparing for game three, part two: cubs-diamondbacks
preparing for game three, part one: red sox-angels
playoff preview: angels vs. red sox
playoff preview: rockies vs. phillies
treehouse green gifts
mo mandel: open mic fight champ
one-game playoff spectacular
505: the civilization express
matt cain gets no support
standup comedians can be big jerks
re-examing songs of my youth, part 6: "save the best for last"
just let me wash your body til the break of day
The Heuristic Squelch Comedy Experience, 10/10/07
blah blah blah! (a talk show), this friday
if you want to have cities you've got to build roads: cake's hatred of traffic
million-dollar idea: capri sun cocktails
vote for mo mandel
mathematically eliminated
britney spears & unpleasant stimuli
my 9/11 tribute act
too soon?
he is microwave popcorn
prank war continues: amir goes too far?
unintentional open mic comedy, part one: show some courage for me
billionaires for bush come to australia
ebony & irony presents, tonight!
cal vs. tennessee: part one
getting experienced
the heuristic squelch comedy experience, 9/5/07
dream journal, 5/11/05: don't diss ludacris
a conversation about spirit animals
my mutant power
vote for alex koll
sean keane's top songs of 2006, part two
a photo that looks like america
iron comic: the recap
iron blogging: "friends having babies"
iron comic preview blog
finals recap
the diary of matt morris
sean keane's top songs of 2006, part one
returning to the finals
voted best blog about tahoe
sonic youth @ berkeley community theater, 7/19
full contact comedy, july 24th
tony larussa and the all-star game
the jerseys of fan fest
nato green's iron comic 8/3 @ make-out room
humm bloggy: july 7th - giants 7, cardinals 6
humm bloggy: giants 4, cardinals 3
humm bloggy: reds 6, giants 3, 7/5/07
sean keane print famousness
humm bloggy: giants 9, reds 5
new feature: humm bloggy
chappelle's apocalypto-cal set
technology and mean older brother pranks
whitewashing the nba draft
a short conversation from the stevie nicks concert
flag day comes only once a year
we sacrifice like lambs
sf beer & oyster festival
omar and sean discuss cavs-pistons
memories of prop 227
get vitamins or die tryin
ebony & irony presents, june 1st
belated memorial day post
azia kim, the modern-day buddy teevens
blah blah blah! - a talk show - 5/26, 10 pm
sean keane college tour @ stanford
more typekey defiance
the nba coaching carousel
1.2 hours of fitness
stu jackson, traffic cop
a team-building night out with the warriors
lancer-franc update the second
sour shrek skittles
jokes from the shrek 3 commemorative cheez-it box
lancer-franc update
the most responsible alcoholic blackout of all time
last minute sean keane booking, 5/11
kenny rogers, photographer
why can't french players shoot free throws anymore?
the greatest prank war of all time
sean keane college tour @ sf state
fairly great, not that american
local news seals the deal
bill swerski's superfans, game 3 edition
more effects of typekey registration
a conversation between tony parker and zinedine zidane
what really happened at the end of game 5
demian bulwa's notebook
squelch references in odd places
a seventh-grade bully recaps the nba weekend
early effects of typekey registration
ilkka speaks some geek
sean keane college tour
tv recommendation
don imus and queen latifah
the eggs-traordinary easter of 2005
more australian video fun
go coach for a rec team, brother
sean keane @ sf comedy club, 3/24
eli manning vs. wayne palmer
sneezing and the observer effect
oscar rodeo: the show
keane-coached athlete makes good
a very sad e-card
oscar rodeo: letters from iwo jima
oscar rodeo: the last king of scotland
oscar rodeo: the devil wears prada
oscar rodeo: half nelson
oscar rodeo: venus
oscar rodeo: the pursuit of happyness
oscar rodeo: little children
oscar rodeo: blood diamond
oscar rodeo: little miss sunshine
oscar rodeo: the queen
oscar rodeo: the departed
oscar rodeo: babel
oscar rodeo: dreamgirls
more whale watching
whale watching
uncomfortable conversation hearts
if the fellowship of the ring had instant messenger, part 2
you say it's your birthday? it's my birthday, too!
observations from super bowl xli
if the fellowship of the ring had instant messenger, part 1
What else to look for in the super bowl
What to look for in the Super Bowl
international names for "growing pains"
the homoerotic world of phil simms: championship game edition
candynalysis: green tingleberry now & later
hey, what's up, babel?
all you need to know about alice/evanescence fans
flashback 1998: what do you want on your tombstone?
saddam execution videos
keane family christmas cards
adios, el tapatio
negativity friendships
adios, uribe
laugh your axe off
thanksgiving is a time to hike
a monologue from the 15 line
life is the crummiest book i ever read
for my consideration
flashback 2005: overheard in berkeley
thank you, ucpd
sean keane komedy kataklysm
when i met ed bradley
the nfl's little brother
meet the hypnotic brass ensemble
halloween violence in the castro
some tips for halloween
the magic hour
true crime update!
true crime in my neighborhood
the emotional kenny rogers
why myspace is jacked
you're the electronics that hold the sky up from the ground
a deleted scene from my sister's wedding
happy birthday molly!
grudge two q & a
harper's index for my recent wireless internet outage
animal excrement in my neighborhood
happy birthday kati vol
did brent musburger bet on the cal-oregon game?
marco! scutaro!
how the a's can still blow it
cheese and stuff girl
man man? yes yes!
previewing the baseball playoffs with hate
the contra costa times loves zembla
your wedding q&a
tuxedo in the trunk
something positive about joe theisman
excerpts from my meditation journal
nfl roundup, week three
the raiders audition new quarterbacks
kneel before kielty!: the two dolla wednesday year in review
my doppelganger, timmy williams
ways to tell that your roommate is secretly dating humpty hump
candynalysis: cherry cola candee slurpee
history's greatest speeches, as delivered by the cal mic man
the guardian
sean keane @ sf comedy club, september 22
my september 11th story
dangerous animals remember steve irwin, part four: timothy the louse
dangerous animals remember steve irwin, part three: russell the stingray
dangerous animals remember steve irwin, part two: angus the spitting cobra
dangerous animals remember steve irwin, part one: nigel the crocodile
jewish heritage night at at&t park
fighting the law, sort of
flashback 2000: cheech and chongfeld
regaining focus
if my dad had written "cats in the cradle"
tower of power
come fly with me
sean keane at 50 mason, 8/5/06
lenny bruce is not afraid
brett favre is in mid-season form
sparing the air
the continuing cultural importance of warren g & nate dogg
comedy competition recap, part 2
comedy competition recap
pearl jam @ bill graham civic, 7/16/06
the handsome man gap
the new yorker gets "hip"
antagonistic behavior from my youth, part 3: that's the ticket
inside the attore's studio
the road to the finals
having a concussion - a fictional story
why univision's world cup telecasts are superior to espn's
safe sex advice for pirates
How the Presidency of William Henry Harrison Compares With Our Trip to the Russian River
ucsb graduation, 2006
one man, two shows, one location, fifty mason
more reasons why i am a nerd
that old time rock and roll
out-of-context excerpts from the first chapter of "the clue in the embers", hardy boys mystery #35
shandon anderson's answering machine
comedy competition update
happy birthday moe, lou, aage, salman, paula, garfield, dirk, and sean
shuffling winamp, round two
two chances to see sean keane stand-up
notes from the neighbors
why baseball rituals don't work for soccer
the hidden subtext of conversations
john daly and the one-armed bandit
willie mays was not messing around
willie mays and blasting caps
game journal: marlins at giants, 6/6/06
last-minute 50 mason booking, 6/10/06
running out the clock at work
the pissed-off-at-the-pissed-off-voter-guide voter guide
re-examining songs from my youth, part 5: "maneater", hall & oates
a ring tone is a wish your phone makes
the new navy
blogging about ring tones is like text messaging about pop-up ads
liveblogging winamp
flashback 2002: un chiste
why i am not afraid of the mummy
bonds = pete rose?
lollipop paint shop (patent pending)
bless you
your fantasy baseball boyfriend
"crazy" = song of the year
tim duncan is secretly funny
flashback 2002: low-ride bond
song recommendations - the cover chain
new sean keane located
tough conversations for harrison ford impersonators, part 2
tough conversations for harrison ford impersonators, part 1
somebody's getting married, part 2: the soundtrack
somebody's getting married, part 1: ohana means family
nash bridges pretends to be gay
more on the da vinci code
choosing roadside assistance
living in the city and giving bad directions
bar mitzvah tour 2006, part 6: the bar mitzvah
two dolla wednesday recap: a's vs. indians, 5/03/06
the office boyfriend
overheard conversations in the castro, 5/09/06
the grand master transfer station
strangers are easy to like: the go! team @ great american music hall, 4/27/06
flashback 2001: michael douglas is gross
more corporate sponsorship for BART
an ornithological look at the castro
corporate sponsorship for BART
being a hero in my neighborhood
travel tips for the wu
how early is too early? part 2
how early is too early? part 1
blogging unrestrained
samuel l. jackson in elementary school
the death of edgar
bar mitzvah tour 2006, part 5: the warner brothers lot
bar mitzvah tour 2006, part 4: city of firebaugh
the con of man
two dolla wednesday recap: a's vs. tigers, 4/19/06
shameful judging in apples to apples
ten billion a month
pontius pilates
i really didn't watch this on my own accord: thoughts on jesus christ superstar
sean keane at 50 mason, april 21st
what jesus don't know won't hurt him
the difference between oakland and san francisco
let's play one
two dolla wednesday: the countdown
unsexy descriptions of sex
bar mitzvah tour 2006, part 3: the danceoff
a keane family wedding, part 2: being a licensed minister
a keane family wedding, part 1: let's roll
iron comic 3 recap
bar mitzvah tour 2006, part 2: the alpha male
notreknip reezew
bar mitzvah tour 2006, part 1: city of compton
grafitti
Light Flame
Wu Who?
Guest Blogging for Dummies by Michele
l.a. story
that's what you say
crying
in case of emergency
more aussie comedy and legal issues
muni goes to disneyland
re-examining songs from my youth, part 4: "mr. jones", counting crows
iron comic iii
radio looky lou
in which i predict the weather
santa barbara trip, part 3: san ardo, town of lost souls
sean keane scoops the onion
lessons from young sean, part 4: sticking with the joke
why joe buck sucks, part 1
playing doctor
more excerpts from game of shadows
a tribute to woody
last thoughts on kirby puckett
oscar roundup
observations from a party, 3/5/06
the greatest moment in ricki lake history
on posting dates and post-dating
the legend of edward 40-hands
barry bonds: cross-dresser
pdx-cursion, part 2: stumptown roundup
another ode to a muni line
the most unintelligible conversation i have ever heard
photos from golden gate park
things i learned while i was sick
santa barbara trip, part 2: the worst person in the world
the new music from the john francis
ways in which the vice president is like one of our clients
return of the sean: sean keane at 50 mason, february 24th
re-examining songs from my youth, part 3: "mr. wendal", arrested development
santa barbara trip, part 1: adventures with tires
two dolla subscription update
new events for the nba's all-star saturday, based on my childhood basketball experience
do you have to eat or get your hair cut in heaven?
highlights from brit hume's interview with dick cheney
high five a muslim day
re-examining songs from my youth, part two: funky cold medina
a history of vice presidential violence
department of department of corrections corrections
anthropology at 4th and howard
ways to make work more like eating at a chinese restaurant
jerome bettis: miked up!
super bowl xl leftovers
reviewing the super bowl refs, with doug eddings
super bowl roundup
mud bowl recap
belated mud bowl preview
awkward conversations in smurf village, part 4
two dollar subscription plan
re-examining songs from my youth, part 1: "the unforgiven", metallica
hypothetical slogans for "stuck on lou", the hot new blog
the state of the union vs. xxx: state of the union
to be young and in love and on bart
sean keane at 50 mason, february 3rd
awkward conversations in smurf village, part 3
sean keane's top songs of 2005, part 2
sean keane's top songs of 2005, part 1
the celtics throw up a whitewash
game journal: broncos vs. steelers, 1/22/06
directions for the english-impaired
pdx-cursion, part 1: gutley
championship game preview, 1/22/06
awkward conversations in smurf village, part 2
tobey keith and confused germans
the adventures of Kid Press Corps!
game journal: bears vs. panthers, 1/15/06
game journal: colts vs. steelers, 1/15/06
game journal: broncos vs. patriots, 1/14/06
game journal: seahawks vs. redskins, 1/14/06
nfl playoff preview, 1/14/06
awkward conversations in smurf village, part 1
how to pick up girls
stand up for stand-up, 1/25/06
the importance of articles
not-so-great sporting celebrations: the big l
chad johnson, hero
ain't no excursion on this fare
the safeway magazine rack
whoa nellie
muni journal, 1/5/06
two stories about a zip-up sweatshirt
the highlight of my new year's day
blogging the reggie bush bowl
state of the zembla
merry christmas: here's some self-promotion
christmas gifts, part 2
christmas gifts, part 1
lake minnetonka and the seventh floor crew
technically, it's "dennis"
iron comic!
what i learned on thanksgiving
where? right in the crotch
tips for aspiring stand-ups
cinematic disasters, as managed by george w. bush
belated world series recap
how terrell owens could become even more hated
a nickname update from chile
november 18th
imagine an iron mask filled with nougat
my trip to nascar
this guy i know
things doug eddings does when he isn't umpiring
on correspondence with prisoners
blatant self-promotion
csma/cd
jet blue
i am not an animal
if andre 3000 had been in the beatles, part 1
on a warm summer's evening in a compact car bound for nowhere
noe street discusses home-buying (2004)
marco scutaro: discount hero
defiant commentary from a guy who is unduly provoked by disclaimers added to commercials
full-priced baseball
NBA Teams That Could Be Legally Represented By The Non-Profit Appellate Law Office Where I Work
russian river rafting announcement
happy 37th to me
klown kollege, or how i learned to stop worrying and love getting shot out of a cannon
running diary, jays vs. a's, 4/12/05
final squelch of 04-05 with final 04-05 sean keane famousness
laughter is the best medicine
upcoming events
blind justice
a surefire way to thwart officer toughkins
bill o'reilly falafel blues
belated super bowl review
semi-new squelch with semi-new keane content now online, plus hype
in greek, it'd be sunergos
shakes vs. officer toughkins
the loneliness of the sideline reporter
i know, they're called doctors
the 20q handheld electronic game and the future of artificial intelligence
if animals were gangsta rappers, part 1
"director's cut" endings from children's films, part 1: willie wonka
Rejected Lines From "Garden State"
Came by his wealth as a matter of luck, says he never broke no law
there's nothing like publicity, and this is nothing like publicity!
sizing up the competition: sean keanes around the world
how we met, part three: dan small
door-to-door fighting
my election night journal
sean keane's growing internet famousness, 11/1/04: mcsweeney's
it could have been a brilliant career: sean's adventures in acting, part 2: yes! you found a supernova!
campaign trail quotes from george w. bush, if he were running for president in 1848
new squelch with new keane content
your guide to avoiding drugstore embarrassment
disturbing trends in the triangle
sean keane's growing internet famousness
dustin hermanson and matt herges get new jobs
four dollars worth of wednesday, part 2
four dollars worth of wednesday, part 1
let's just say larry brown wasn't invited
Bad Stock Market Tips From Early 1994, If You Could Buy Stock In Alphanumeric Keys
there'll be time enough for indie rockin when we're old
reds at giants, 8/5/04: brilliant
u is for orange alert
you're on their turf
ths is what happens when you don't pay the money you owe, sharon
blogcleaning
maybe if i had my own sylph . . .
late night appearance affirms vigoda aliveness
me got game
zembla's easter eggstravaganza, part 1: the circus club
if bumper sticker jokes were horses, i'd win the kentucky derby
would have been much more relevant three months ago . . .
something is changing inside me, and don't you know
is it feti? - no, fetuses is fine
a breakdown in international relations
vegas, baby, vegas
goateequest 2004: the first ten days
not by the hair on my chinny chin chin
play it again, zem
red rum!?!
game strategies
two glass jars full of dirt do not equal a device
antagonistic behavior from my youth, part 2: jenny, i got your number
antagonistic behavior from my youth, part 1: the greek theatre
zembla goes east, part 5: the neal pollack invasion
zembla goes east, part 4: baseball in southie
zembla goes east, part 3: the difference between harvard and m.i.t.
zembla goes east, part 2: the harvard teen girl squad
zembla goes east, part 1: boston, you're my home
stories about my sister molly, part 3: earmuffs!
stories about my sister molly, part 2: hide-and-seek champion of all time
stories about my sister molly, part 1: gender confusion
belated nfl review, week 5
slide, jeremy, slide! revisited
games of innocence; games of experience: giants vs. marlins, 2003 NLDS
nfl review, week 4
asian-american children's names
belated nfl review, week 3
getting your haircut, the fatalistic way
a pedophile and a pedagogue in conversation
belated nfl review, week 2
osama bin laden: making the video
chasing 170
belated nfl preview
dear john
jokes about marvel comics characters if they had food allergies in common with eight year-old johnny newbury, by johnny newbury
Z-E-M-B-L-A, it's coming back, it's coming back
henry david thoreau, newlywed: part 2
henry david thoreau: newlywed
jack johnson music helps fan stay in coma
put that bullpen phone down, the ninth inning's for closers
opinions were like kittens, i was giving 'em away
afghanistan complains of neglect
case closed!
an ode to my favorite muni line
a fair and balanced look at "office space"
tim hudson battles the red ringers
arnold runs for box office glory
the reverse entropy of traffic regulation
alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad first week at work
sean keane versus deep blue
from the archives: goodbye, white tornado, goodbye
a week's worth of ineptitude in just 18 innings
lessons from young sean, part 3: telling it like it is
zembla goes south, part 6: jessee's car
zembla goes south, part 5: the pet name
zembla goes south, part 4: the san diego zoo
zembla goes south, part 3: tijuana
zembla goes south, part 2: the short conversation
zembla goes south, part1: la freeways
ward street week, part the last: why don't you come out here?
ward street week, part 5: the überbong
ward street week, part 4: the difference between oakland and berkeley
ward street week, part 3: scenes from "the matrix", rewritten as if the matrix were my apartment, ward street d
ward street week, part 2: breaking up is hard to do
ward street week, part 1: homecourt advantage
new slang, part 1: "sucks"
are young swimmers juiced?
heart cooks brain
the greatest fashion advice comes from children
lessons from young sean, part 2: the world of politics
lessons from young sean, part 1: getting what you want
Point/Counterpoint: Tony the Tiger vs. Bill Walton
bop-it: an emotional journey, in five photos
the best albums of 2002 list
from the archives: "baja fresh," 4/99
goodbye is not a good enough word, so i'll just say fare thee well
my kingdom for a gelded horse
the observational comic encounters... the physics midterm
the worst songs of all time, part 1: the girl is mine
Rough Drafts of the Climactic Scene From the Sammy Sosa-Themed Episode of "CSI"
discipline and punishment worthy of a seven year-old michel foucault
¿como se llamas tus llamas?
near-great moments in retorts
the most fabulous place on earth
Alex Trebek, In Various Parallel Universes
today's young people
the door test, kid, that's what counts
more like bad-ison avenue!
the matrix: reloaded
three stories about pool sanitation
another dream: soccer with john mayer
*warning: contains spoilers*
about michael caine the man, not michael caine the actor
first holy communion: a report from the front
top five rejected lyrics from bryan adams' "have you ever really loved a woman?"
On turtles and greetings and kindness
our greatest living writer
a heartwarming tale of easter
one step closer to living off the fat of the land
pecking and kicking with dimitri
the hatch just blew, dammit
news from the front
childhood jokes rewritten as commentary on war criminals, part 3
princess big-nose
childhood jokes rewritten as commentary on war criminals, part 2
childhood jokes rewritten as commentary on war criminals, part 1
stories about my sister megan, part 3: the doctor kit
stories about my sister megan, part 2: when animals attack
stories about my sister megan, part 1: the code
sf chronicle famousness
bush delivers ultimatum to iraq
st. patrick's day and lying to children: two great tastes that taste great together
us and security council agree to disagree
taking out the trash
top five travis tritt songs for the new millenium
congress declares thumb war
my relationship with jesus is strictly business
it could have been a brilliant career: sean's adventures in acting, part 1: the supernova cd-rom
my altercations with an irishman
Emeryville IKEA Declares Independence
legal trouble for zembla
there is a light that never goes out
two weeks notice, except less
what kind of a restaurant doesn't have vermouth?
well, a lot of good cars are japanese
more news about terror and candy
snowball implicated in anthrax mailings
from the archives: typographical conversation theory
sentient cotton candy
notes on the "manhunter" dvd
us sends troops to alaska
adventures in tolkien nerdery
born to be... wild?
from the archive: the willie mays story - October 10, 1986
nba action - it's (far from) FAN-tastic!
sara and sami and the dump
sean is slightly famouser
the music city gambling miracle
from the archive: age 14 writing, part II - top ten lists
from the archive: age 14 writings
¡uno más!
aaron vinson and alphabetical prejudice
only the pennington man shall pass
super-strange and super-cute visitors to the lawrence hall of science, january edition II
santa claus = god for kids
how we met, volume 2 - dustin reed
sean nitpicks things that everyone likes, volume 1: back to the future
weird-ass visitors to the lawrence hall of science, january edition
ward street d: the evolution
trends i have noticed, but do not understand
all is noisy on new year's day
we get letters, december 2002 edition
how we met, volume 1 - kristen larson
warren g, you useless, useless bastard
demorol, sweet demorol
short conversation roundup, part 1
two conversations involving felix, ex-roommate yi's best friend, spring of 1998
the harsh road to caldecott (in which gene is paraphrased at length)
heart-to-hearts
an open letter to the guy standing behind me at the ben folds concert, warfield theatre, 11/15/02
unrealized humorous concepts, fall of 1997
some dreams i had during late december/early january 1998/99
speeding motorcycle
the CGAME
on emotions
surgery update
kneed i say more?
two tales of thanksgiving violence
vignettes from LHS
dinner with kati voluntine and gene wood, a review
upbeat bonus entry
for those of you on a kneed-to-know level...
columbus day
KOIT
dinosaur comedy, take 2
historical artifact
new fred lee music
got the tickets?
hobbit comedy
recommendations, 8/28
!si estas paredes podrian hablar!
i'm not a scab, i'm a _strikebreaker_
lawrence hall name fun
welcome week
hooray for english
the diary of chris webber
jesus and the altar boys
lawrence hall of sadness
aaron vinson and gene wood debate technology (from 1998)
parsley, rage, rosemary, and time
it, um, randomizes them
fermat and schubert